What is EFT?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a widely practiced and well researched method of psychotherapy used with couples, families (Emotionally Focused Family Therapy; EFFT), and individuals (Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy; EFIT). EFT is an experiential and relational form of psychotherapy that focuses on building attachment bonds and connection in the most important relationships in our lives. It is through emotion that we shape our sense of selves and others, and how we engage with each other. It helps shape what we feel about ourselves and the world around us. Through emotion, we can find resolution and healing in our relationships.
Who would benefit from EFT?
We sometimes find ourselves at odds with those whom we are closest to, stuck in patterns of arguing, disconnection, or misunderstanding. Whether the disconnect is with your partner, your child, or your caregiver, it may feel like they are not listening, are against you, dislike — or even hate — you, or have no interest in maintaining your relationship. Wondering what happened and how you got here, you may be left with frustration, anger, feelings of depression or anxiety, or troubling behaviors or actions.
In this situation, we can’t seem to hear each other, and we find ourselves stuck in patterns of negativity and miscommunication that we can’t find our way out of. We often get stuck in defensiveness, shutting down, yelling, or melting down, and end up feeling misunderstood and all alone. When we repeat these patterns again and again, it becoems harder to see the positive intentions and needs of our loved ones and chips away at the sense of security relationships provide.
If you find yourself stuck in these patterns and are looking for help in understanding, supporting or rebuilding important relationships in your life, you may benefit from working with a therapist who utlizes EFT principles in their practice.
How can it help us?
EFT helps you to keep your emotional balance in high-tension interactions. EFT-trained therapists aim to help you rebuild understanding and connections with loved ones by accessing the emotions beneath troubling behaviors and miscommunications, therefore helping you understand and break the patterns that bring conflict to your life. On the outside, it may look like hatred, disinterest, or anger, while on the inside, you may be scared, alone, and searching for help and connection.
Throughout this process, we work together to build resilience and warmth within family systems, to create more secure alliances, and to promote satisfaction through communication, connection, and relaitonal balance. Together, we will access and understand the intentions, emotional needs, and bids for connection and comfort that are expressed by your loved ones and find ways to respond differently to build new patterns of interaction. Through EFT, we find ourselves genuinely seeing and hearing each other. Belonging leads to becoming; through connection and understanding, we can support new growth that once felt impossible. Relationships that were a source of pain and conflict can once again become a source of comfort and security.